Rich Christmas 2013

Despite the MAJOR obstacle of celebrating our first Christmas without our beloved Jim, Dad, Poppy, we survived with only tear stained wounds!

After finishing my many home 'projects' in good form, the holiday tea and open house went off without a hitch. (except for way over-planning food - the r.s.v.p. REGRET thing just never works).  I truly enjoyed visiting with many friends.  Our family were the recipients of so much love and service in 2013, it was a joy to be able to somehow re-pay the kindess and care we were shown.  I truly felt that Jim loved that the 'show went on', even though he experienced it with a different perspective. (Party pictures posted above )!

A large part of my surviving everything was, I'm certain, due to Jim's presence.  I felt him SO VERY CLOSE as I planned the house fix ups, the parties, family 'gifting', leading the ward choir, driving (I carry his picture on the dash of the car and I know he's watching out for me - since he is aware of my somewhat sketching driving record) and even shoveling the snow on an icy driveway.  He has truly been my GUARDIAN ANGEL.

I've felt him in the quiet hours as well as during the 'chaos' of all the children and grandchildren being around.  I know he would want to be with us physically, but I know his spirit soars with new abilities and knowledge.  I know he must be very necessary to what is happening beyond the veil and is happy to be vital.  I also know he misses us all and is not far from us - ever!  Something else I also know is that my sweet little dog (ROSIE) can sense his spirit; perhaps even 'see' him.   I have had several experiences lately where I know Jim is in the room and Rosie will respond to that.  (I have some 'stories' to share if any readers here want to know).  I love to share these stories because it reminds me that Jim is still....Jim; even 'more' himself than before.  Of course, I'd give anything....ANYTHING, if he were still just the SAME 'ol Jim, but I know he still LIVES in another realm with his creator and loved ones that have also gone before.  I KNOW THIS!

 Just a quick re-cap of December for the record:

The family created our FOREVER JIM CHRISTMAS TREE
(lovingly adorned with bicycles, hard hats, saws, baseballs and mitts, tools, musical notes, a star made of a bicycle spoke and chair and lit from within and plenty of family pictures)

Songkeepers (my singing group) performed again for the first time since 2011!

(retirement centers, parties, love singing Christmas music)!

My first Ward Christmas Choir Program as director
Organized ward Christmas party program

Our traditional 'Graham Cracker' Christmas houses with the grand kids!

Breakfast with Santa at Aunt Margarets with all the Pattersons!

Dinner with my siblings at Log Haven - peace and plenty of winter scenery!

Plays and programs for the grand kids!

Christmas Tea Party and Open House!

Adult Christmas Dinner with my children and their spouses at 'Thyme and Seasons'!

Christmas 'Adam' with the whole gang (the night before Christmas 'Eve')!

Christmas afternoon with all the gang!

Rich Sibling party at Mary Ellen's!

New Years Eve with the whole gang!

Breakfast and bowling New Years Day!

Next  year - DISNEY CRUISE .... OR BUST!

CHRISTMAS TREASURES 2013

'Rich-est Christmas Pageant Ever'

 Annual Patterson 'Breakfast with Santa - with some of the gang!

 Temple lights with Livie, Corbin and Jaden

 Duncan and 'Digger the Dog'

 Heartfelt hugs!

 The 'darlings' in their Christmas jams!
(front row) Chance, Jaden, Duncan, Charlie,
(second row) Coleson, Lulu, Livie, Millie, Sammie with Tyson
(back row) Corbin and Mason 
baby Daphne very front 

 Tender candle lighting ceremony to remember JIM, DAD, POPPY!

 New Years Eve with the grandkids

Made it through - Jim was always close!

THE 'HOLIDAYS, A FEW 'PROJECTS' and 'THE JIM CHRISTMAS TREE'

A friend reminded me recently that I haven't posted for a while so I'll try to re-cap, mostly so I can remember!  

I  had many reminders early on that the 'holidays' would be a difficult time for me, so I decided to create a project or TWO to keep me occupied - and lo...DID THEY EVER!

Right after Halloween I realized that the whole lower floor of our home had for some time been neglected.  The hole in the sun room wall that Jim had fixed from the outside five years earlier, hadn't been patched inside, the part of the basement wall that Bobby painted while he and Sara lived with us nearly two years ago, was making the rest of the walls look lonely.  The carpet (21 years old now and having lived through 4 dogs) was needing to be retired!  So - I went 'at it' and ended up with a painter, a carpenter and a carpet layer helping me through November...all good friends and good company for Rosie and I!

When one decides to re-carpet and paint 3,000 square feet of space, one should consider the consequences.  Like all the 'stuff' the children have left on the floors of their bedrooms and closets that have to be organized and moved!  Then there's the moving of the furniture (beds, dressers, work out equipment, etc).  Thank goodness for strong sons (and son-in-law) to help.  Then to add to the fun, our friend who built our home 21 years ago, re-did the heating system in the sun room so that we actually have heat in there in the winter.  When he finished, Jim's sister Mary Ellen and I painted the walls! The putting back together of everything was equally challenging!  Along with fixing electronics, hanging new light fixtures, re-hanging pictures and cleaning, we also decorated  for Christmas and a holiday 'open house', which I decided was also something I NEEDED to do to keep me occupied!  NUTS, I know, but I just wanted to be able to thank so many people who have helped us through this past year and a party seemed the way!

The best part of all the activity was the decision to do a 'Jim Christmas tree' for just our family!  Jim told me last year as we toured the Festival of Trees, that he did NOT want our family to do a festival tree for him.  I think he figured that I would not only buy a new tree and all the decorations, but that I would re-buy it at the festival to have it forever.  Good thinking Jim! 
Our JIM TREE (pictured above) turned out to be a wonderful family effort, with not only our children and grandchildren helping, but Jim's and my siblings contributing ideas and time!  I bought our FIRST EVER ARTIFICIAL TREE (a hard decision since we've always had live trees) for the project and here's what went on it; the musical saw and bow, a baseball and mitt, bicycles, hard hats, mini saws, musical notes, angels, reindeer (he was a 'dear), hanging 'tools' and myriads of pictures of Jim and family!  The 'crowning touch' was the 'topper'; a star created by Coby, made from a bicycle spoke and chain and lit for special effect!  Quite impressive, if we all did say so.  I know Jim is pleased as punch, probably mostly that I didn't pay for all of it TWICE! 

With all of that, it has still probably been the most difficult time of I've ever lived through.  Two invites to Thanksgiving dinner (Mary Ellen's son Jason and Rob and Liz at Jeremy Ranch) was nice, but it was also very strange (with the kids all at their in-laws this year)!  I cried all the way down Parley's canyon after leaving Rob's!  It's JUST PLAIN PAINFUL to be without your sweetheart this time of year....anytime, when he's been such an amazing presence in your life.  As I've said, I've taken crying new levels this year but it is often the only way I can feel 'relief' and get through my days!  I still feel Jim very close.  I am grateful for his presence and know he keeps special watch on our family - and particularly me.  He would always tell me he didn't know what he would do without me.  I never imagined what I would do without him.  But one thing is for sure....you have to keep DOING!  I was called to be the ward choir director and, despite my lack of expertise, it's also been a healing help.  I realize that I have much to be grateful for (so much) and I know Jim would expect this of me!  It's painful to see other couples, especially this time of year, realizing their 'complete' joy!  Knowing that we had such a blessed family and the most wonderful marriage for thirty six years helps!  Knowing that I have Jim 'forever' and that we'll be together again keeps me sane!  Knowing that the Lord is aware of all that is going on is a necessary comfort!  I move toward the new year, not knowing the path, but hopeful of the journey!

Halloween and Hope

It was an eventful October!  The Rich clan had what is going to become an 'annual Pumpkin carving party' at the Yalecrest Ward.  My efforts were a tribute to Jim (carved on ONE pumpkin and pictured below).  There were many spectacular entries and I wish I could picture them all!  It's always fun (and comforting) to be with Jim's family.  They are a great group and I feel lucky to be a part of their history.

That same week, a fun party was had at the home of my cousin Linda McMullin Roylance.  It's an understatement to say that she goes 'all out' when decorating.  It might even be 'over' over the top, and Halloween is no exception.  Pictured below is her Witchy luncheon with the McMullin girls and her beautifully set table.  Her whole home is a wonder to behold on any holiday.  If she had time, you'd see her all over 'pinterest' or her works published in 'House Beautiful'!

Then, since I don't have my children for Thanksgiving this year, I decided to do a Halloween dinner and party.  It was not quite the 'gala' that was last years, but we had a costume  parade and contest, diving for donuts, cupcake decorating and played musical chairs.  It was CRAZY and CHAOTIC but I think the kids had a blast!  Since I don't have the usual noise level at my house that my children do ALL THE TIME, I think it's FUN now and then to have everyone running around and squealing at high pitch!  They (my children) on the other hand, have a hard time really enjoying the free-for-all!

On Halloween night, I did my usual (cider and donuts) for the neighbors.  We are getting fewer and fewer numbers all the time, but I feel I must keep up the tradition that some still look forward to.  But when all MY little ones came to trick-or-treat down our street, I put a sign out, left the goods on the front porch and went with them.  I think I can count on one hand how many times I've been out on Halloween.  Jim was with the kids when they were young and then they were on their own.  He went again when we had grandchildren .... and I just felt like I wanted to be in the fray this year!  It was a great night to be out - just right - and was so fun to watch the little ones get so excited!

 That night, when I turned out the lights, blew out the candles and closed up, I got into my new hot tub - just outside of our bedroom and had myself a really good CRY!  I know that Jim walked the streets with us that night.  He LOVED his grandchildren and LOVED watching them .... move!  I know he wouldn't have missed it - which just made me wonder.....WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE CALLED HOME?  What could be more important that being with his FAMILY who adored him?  It wasn't a 'why me' pitty cry - it was just a 'oh darn it' cry, which happen quite often lately.  I find myself asking....'JIM, what are you DOING???  I want to know .....are you still YOU, taking an interest in the wonders around you and in people?  I want to know that he is with family and feeling relief and JOY and hopefully, not missing me as much as I miss him!

A few days later, I received a letter from my friend Shauna, whose husband Ron also passed away from ALS.  She wrote me about a book she had read called 'City of Tranquil Light' about a Mennoite couple who serve a mission in China. They have many sturggles and yet endure because of their HOPE!  A quote she sent reads;

"We often wait for God with hope.  We may feel nothing, but we do not rely on our feelings.  When we don't feel hope, we wait for it and it always comes'!

"God honors our sorrows by allowing us to experience them.  How else to deepen us"?  How else to increase our trust"?

Needless to say, it struck a powerful chord, as I still seem to be pleading for my faith to increase in the HOPE of what the eternities are about.  Being HOPEFUL sometimes seems like all I do!  I have to believe it strengthens and deepens me because in its absence, I don't think I could move forward!  Sometimes I feel I take it for granted and sometimes, many times lately, I feel like I am WAITING for it!   But then there is a Sunday like this past one, when the lessons touch my soul with a powerful peace that all is well.  That Jim is busy - taking an interest in others, teaching the gospel, being with his family in heaven, talking about his family on earth and endearing many to him so that they can accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ through his love.  It WAS and IS ....his way.  It's then that my HOPE is restored!

So, in knowing (HOPING) that he is still 'being and doing' and experiencing more than I could ever now imagine.........I lay down to sleep and say out loud....

"I LOVE YOU JIM RICH"!  Stay close!

Mason (the skelton)

Millie and Daphne (the Penquins)

Tyson (Rapunzel's pet Pasqual)

Cousin Linda's fabulous Halloween luncheon!

Linda, Janette, me, Liz, Patty!

My 'Jim' pumpkin (all in one)

Lance, Olivia, Tyson and Marianne as

Flynn Ryder, Rapunzel, Pasqual and Mother Gothal!

Lulu the ladybug-fairy!

Sammie as Dorothy!

 Anna, Millie, Pat and Daphne as

Mary Poppins, penguin, Burt and baby penquin!