The Rich family had our first UEA week at the St. George home this fall.
Only Coby and Marianne's families were able to come, but we had a wonderful few days in the beautiful southern Utah sun!
The last time we were able to go down was in February 2012 for Valentines Day. Jim was able to come along and was, as usual, the best sport from his wheelchair. We took him everywhere with us and he loved 'watching' even though his heart was, I know, aching!
This trip reminded all of us how much he loved taking advantage of whatever place we visited. Coby took a ride up Snow Canyon, getting emotional as he remembered that was his last ride with his Dad. Jim loved to have a good 'adventure' and especially loved it when the family would join in. We have wonderful memories of camping in Snow Canyon with all the Rich clan - years before the Patterson family purchased the home at Lakota Ridge. We watched hot air balloons float up the canyon and land on rocks right by our campsites. We hiked and played in the sand dunes and explored caves. My Dad used to take us on camping outings yearly in southern Utah when I was young. He loved the open spaces and natural beauty of the area just as I know Jim did.
I never really appreciated it until I saw all my children loving adventuring in the red hills. Now I feel the strength, serenity and peace that they say the red rock radiates. It truly is a wondrous and spiritual place and I am grateful we have such a beautiful home now to enjoy!The only hard part was coming home.
I didn't even have to walk in the house before I was crying my eyes out from missing my darling Jim. It is lately unbearable to be without him, and I never feel it more than when I head back home (especially as the sun sets) realizing he is not going to be there. The days don't seem to be easier in any way as time passes. If anything, I miss his presence more than ever, realizing how long it's been since he held me and kissed me. I am angry at the disease that took him from me and our family. It is NOT FAIR! I am wanting him tell me there is rhyme and reason to it all. I am NOT a good LONE person and you can feel 'alone' with people all around you. In my prayers, I beg him to stay earthbound for me to help me get through this agonizing loneliness.
Someday I'll be better......I think. I'm doing the best I can. I get up every morning. I walk Rosie and do the dishes and laundry like I've always done. I have lunch and dinner dates with thoughtful friends, I spend time with family and grand kids and sit on the pews in church. I say my prayers and do the bills and try to fill my life with happy moments. But.....I MISS HIM SO MUCH!!!!! My life will never be the same...I will never be the same! Still - I have to be grateful for the blessings I have. I do know I have been blessed!
Just so wishing that Jim was still here to share those blessings with me!
