Halloween and Hope
It was an eventful October! The Rich clan had what is going to become an 'annual Pumpkin carving party' at the Yalecrest Ward. My efforts were a tribute to Jim (carved on ONE pumpkin and pictured below). There were many spectacular entries and I wish I could picture them all! It's always fun (and comforting) to be with Jim's family. They are a great group and I feel lucky to be a part of their history.
That same week, a fun party was had at the home of my cousin Linda McMullin Roylance. It's an understatement to say that she goes 'all out' when decorating. It might even be 'over' over the top, and Halloween is no exception. Pictured below is her Witchy luncheon with the McMullin girls and her beautifully set table. Her whole home is a wonder to behold on any holiday. If she had time, you'd see her all over 'pinterest' or her works published in 'House Beautiful'!
Then, since I don't have my children for Thanksgiving this year, I decided to do a Halloween dinner and party. It was not quite the 'gala' that was last years, but we had a costume parade and contest, diving for donuts, cupcake decorating and played musical chairs. It was CRAZY and CHAOTIC but I think the kids had a blast! Since I don't have the usual noise level at my house that my children do ALL THE TIME, I think it's FUN now and then to have everyone running around and squealing at high pitch! They (my children) on the other hand, have a hard time really enjoying the free-for-all!
On Halloween night, I did my usual (cider and donuts) for the neighbors. We are getting fewer and fewer numbers all the time, but I feel I must keep up the tradition that some still look forward to. But when all MY little ones came to trick-or-treat down our street, I put a sign out, left the goods on the front porch and went with them. I think I can count on one hand how many times I've been out on Halloween. Jim was with the kids when they were young and then they were on their own. He went again when we had grandchildren .... and I just felt like I wanted to be in the fray this year! It was a great night to be out - just right - and was so fun to watch the little ones get so excited!
That night, when I turned out the lights, blew out the candles and closed up, I got into my new hot tub - just outside of our bedroom and had myself a really good CRY! I know that Jim walked the streets with us that night. He LOVED his grandchildren and LOVED watching them .... move! I know he wouldn't have missed it - which just made me wonder.....WHY DID HE HAVE TO BE CALLED HOME? What could be more important that being with his FAMILY who adored him? It wasn't a 'why me' pitty cry - it was just a 'oh darn it' cry, which happen quite often lately. I find myself asking....'JIM, what are you DOING??? I want to know .....are you still YOU, taking an interest in the wonders around you and in people? I want to know that he is with family and feeling relief and JOY and hopefully, not missing me as much as I miss him!
A few days later, I received a letter from my friend Shauna, whose husband Ron also passed away from ALS. She wrote me about a book she had read called 'City of Tranquil Light' about a Mennoite couple who serve a mission in China. They have many sturggles and yet endure because of their HOPE! A quote she sent reads;
"We often wait for God with hope. We may feel nothing, but we do not rely on our feelings. When we don't feel hope, we wait for it and it always comes'!
"God honors our sorrows by allowing us to experience them. How else to deepen us"? How else to increase our trust"?
Needless to say, it struck a powerful chord, as I still seem to be pleading for my faith to increase in the HOPE of what the eternities are about. Being HOPEFUL sometimes seems like all I do! I have to believe it strengthens and deepens me because in its absence, I don't think I could move forward! Sometimes I feel I take it for granted and sometimes, many times lately, I feel like I am WAITING for it! But then there is a Sunday like this past one, when the lessons touch my soul with a powerful peace that all is well. That Jim is busy - taking an interest in others, teaching the gospel, being with his family in heaven, talking about his family on earth and endearing many to him so that they can accept the Gospel of Jesus Christ through his love. It WAS and IS ....his way. It's then that my HOPE is restored!
So, in knowing (HOPING) that he is still 'being and doing' and experiencing more than I could ever now imagine.........I lay down to sleep and say out loud....
"I LOVE YOU JIM RICH"! Stay close!
