Tuesday, October 23, 2012

"It' a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD World"!
or....'Testing, testing, testing!'

October has flown by like a witch on a broom.  And in this scenario, I believe I've been the 'witch'!  Yup - my 'accentuate the positive attitude' flew out the window on the broom with me this past week, as I just decided to be M-A-D!  A review of my 'drama' probably would not serve anyone well, but I hear in good journal keeping, you gotta post the hard with the great!  So - for all of you who may think my attitude is just too 'amazing', this will make you feel better!
It all began with our regular 3 month check up at the University of Utah ALS clinic, where Jim and I received more 'revealing' and 'distressing' news about what was to come with this devastating disease. (Dr. 'Dread' strikes again).  Trigger in place, I began my journey of MADNESS!
First and foremost, I was MAD at this horrible disease for taking up home in a great and worthy guy like Jim.  MAD at anyone who wanted to give me any advice or tell me they knew how I felt (How the heck did they know, anyway)!  MAD at anyone who would asked Jim 'How he was doing!  (How do you THINK he's doing?)  Mad at everyone who was WALKING around acting like life was normal and GREAT!  Mad at those who DO get Miracles!  Mad at couples who were walking hand in hand!  MAD at prayers that seem to have gone unanswered (I know, this is getting REALLY BAD)!  Even Mad at God for allowing anyone to suffer like this!  Yup - I was a perfect 'test case' for the adversary..... who 'a conquering came'!  I just got to the point where I needed to BLAME SOMEONE for this whole sad situation we've found ourselves in.  Well, after over a week of trying my very best, it turns out there just isn't anyone to blame!


Then wonder of wonders - some relief from the 'madness'!  Our son Bob called saying he was coming in from Sacramento as a bit of a surprise, smack dab in the middle of my horrible week, bringing more of our choicest blessings; two year old Duncan, two week old Charlie along with (of course) Mom Sara.  Being the 'gatherer' I am, I immediately threw myself into 'party mode'.  After all, I've missed FUN!  I used to be FUN!  So we ALL gathered last Friday night for a fantastic 'HALLOWEEN-ER'(pictured above)  This 'party' was going to be full of everything I've ever wanted to do at a Halloween party all in one fun-packed evening).  OkI probably pushed the envelope, beginning with a 'witchy' (appropriate for my week) witches brew demonstration and dinner with home-made autumn stew!  We followed that up with sugar cookie frosting, trick or treat scavenger hunting, glow-stick ghosts (making ghosts out of blown up white balloons with glow sticks inserted in them), scary story telling in the dark with the 'glow-stick' balloons, bobbing for hanging donuts, dress up 'sacks' (put together a costume out of what you get in the sack) with awards and a grand finale movie with caramel corn.  Our creative daughter Marianne also designed and built a car to fit over Jim's wheelchair which we named the 'wheel-mobile',Jim's Halloween costume!  It was a 'late-night-er supreme' and I think my grown up children thought maybe I'd lost a screw...or two!  But....the grand-kids had a GREAT TIME and hopefully it will be a new Jim Rich family tradition.  

We all gathered again Sunday afternoon for a hike around Silver Lake at Brighton and a Monday night FHE, complete with all our children gathered as Jim gave me a wonderful blessing of comfort and faith to go forward.  This was followed by our 4 sons and favorite (only) son-in-law giving a 'priesthood-packed' blessing to Jim, offering him hope and courage to sustain him in the coming months.  Words of love for all of his wonderful 'fathering' followed; a happy conclusion to an otherwise miserable week!  If BLESSINGS are MIRACLES, we've had more than our share!

Jim and I also re-read our Patriarchal blessings together last week, with emotions flowing!  Jim's was as uncomplicated as he is.  A perfect and simple explanation of the faithful, valiant person he is!  I paid particular notice to the warning in mine to pray often, that the 'evil one' may not have power over me!  I also paid notice to a blessing that I would have the opportunity to 'hear, in audible tones', the voices of angels.  Surely 'angelic tones' are musical!  This past week (and often before)I've recognized that MUSIC will pop into my head (even out of a deep sleep) as a 'voice' of comfort to me when I am seeking help!  This week it was the 3rd verse of "How Firm A Foundation" (which I woke up thinking of).  We hadn't sung it in church - nor had I thought about it the day before!

"Fear not, I am with thee, oh be not dismayed, For I am thy God and will still give thee aid!  I'll strengthen thee, help thee and cause thee to stand, Upheld by my righteous....omnipotent hand"! 

 So, If you haven't noticed, I'm better!  I don't think anyone knows that life is a TEST until they are... TESTED.  "Hello Joanne; are you listening?  Testing, testing, testing!"



  

10 comments:

Bergeson Family said...

We love you both so much!

Bergeson Family said...

We love you both so much!

Bergeson Family said...

We love you both so much!

DW said...

Joanne, You are awesome! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings and this blog. We are so grateful to have you and your family as neighbors. We love you and your family tons. The Wilsons.

Tiffany said...

You are amazing! I understand about being MAD...really mad. It's hard to see others get their miracles and sit idly by. I know it doesn't change things, but good days are ahead...if you can believe it! Know that you are so loved and we'd all give anything to take this away. (Just like Cob and I know you would have with Jack if at all possible.) We'll definitely have some BONES to pick with a few people up there....Let's let Marg do the talking!!

JENNILLE said...

I really enjoyed reading that and always, your honesty. I am so glad you all partied!!

margaret said...

I surely would do the talking and you know I can!

Sara Lou said...

Glad we could come and spend time with our family, sorry about your rough week. I also LOVE the 3rd verse of How Firm a Foundation. I'm not sure when that love came about but it sure is a comforting promise. We love you guys!!!

Mindy said...

Jo - Wiping my tears here at work - thank you, kindly. I love you. I so appreciate your courage and your testimony. And what you said about Jim and his simple, throough goodness. A day at a time. Hugs!

Mindy said...

Jo - Wiping my tears here at work - thank you, kindly. I love you. I so appreciate your courage and your testimony. And what you said about Jim and his simple, throough goodness. A day at a time. Hugs!