Wednesday, February 20, 2013

GO SOUTH OR BUST!

VALENTINES DAY found us traveling south out of the grey snow and skies of the north into  Utah's Dixie!  Despite my driving and Jim's wheelchair 'rockin' all the way (it becomes  'bouncy' when traveling), we made it in good time to enjoy sunset on the red rocks, heart shaped pizza with Marianne's family (The Welch's) and a scrumptious Valentine cookie courtesy of a 'sweet' neighbor!  (thank you Joni)!  With a good book on tape, a little cola on ice and the promise of warmer air with each new mile, it was go.... SOUTH OR BUST for Jim and Joanne - aching for a little February 'lift'!

Coby, Tiff and the boys along with Pat, Anna and little Millie, joined us Friday making for a great group ready to enjoy a beautiful southern Utah weekend.  Amazing how sunshine and blue sky can RENEW THE SOUL!  We went swimming at Sand Hallow (love the indoor slide), golfing (Coby) with his Dixie buddy Dave Chase, flew kites, walked, biked, sunned by the Lakota pool (not yet warm enough to swim in - although Coby and Corbin took a plunge or two just for kicks), ate junk food, played games and just really enjoyed each others company!  Jim enjoyed every minute of watching the 'goings on' with his children and grandchildren.  There is NOT A BETTER SPORT than my guy Jim, who just a year ago was enjoying  20 mile bike rides, scuba diving, golf (et al) and now can only observe all these physical outlets.  Yet he still finds joy in all around him and does it (truly) without a 'why me'!  This is EXEMPLARY!   This is a MAN TO LOVE!

A little 'catch up' on Jim's condition! 
He is still trusting to the Triology air pressurization machine and now needs to use it every hour of the day and night.  It pushes air into his diaphragm and by his vocal cords (which are weakening) allowing him to breath freely and speak more clearly.  His mind is as sharp as every (thank goodness, since I'm loosing mine) and he is making sure that I am learning the 'trade' of financial responsibilities and other important household tasks.  He is keenly aware that I have never held the reins on these affairs and is teaching me to be careful opening mail (not to throw away important tax documents) and checking 'zero's' behind the decimals before I push the submit button on our online bill pay!  For someone who could win the messiest DEN award, he has been, all these years, surprisingly competent and sabe (spanish) concerning our financial affairs!  I have learned much from him these past months and I'm hoping (and praying) it 'takes'!

Jim also has very little TRUNK support left and so everything below his neck is 'dead weight'!  I am so very grateful to our morning aids (Tony and Jordan) who are young and strong and able to take the strain of transferring him from bed to wheelchair.  They really love Jim and I often hear them asking him questions as he in turn, gives them all sorts of advice while they shower, feed and dress him.  His daily routine goes from bed to wheelchair to bed with all of the FUN we can muster in between!   I am also SO grateful to our sons, son in law and wonderful ward neighbors who take turns doing bedtime duty.  I think everyone really enjoys the blessing of helping Jim and visiting with him.  He remains true to his amazing talent of being a good listener.  Visits with friends are never about HIM nor his situation; a real tribute to his character!  He has been a wonderful example of humility and patience to those he is around.
Don't we WISH every day we didn't have to be the ones being the example!!!
But as long as we find ourselves in this situation, I am taking my lead from Jim and TRYING my best to make the most of what we have been handed!  We may think we have no choice, but we always have 'choice'!  That choice is to respond badly or respond well!

My sister-in-law Mary Ellen recently told me something which I found.... profound!
'We often think, when we go through difficult times, that the Lord is testing us, but that is simply NOT TRUE!  HE ALREADY KNOWS US!   The test is for us to GET TO KNOW OURSELVES!"
Brings to mind the song from 'The King and I"...GETTING TO KNOW YOU (ME?)
A great blessing that has come from our situation is that Jim and I are truly getting to know each other.  As for Jim, I am mostly discovering things under the surface that I must have taken for granted before; Jim's great  great strength of character and humility being high on the list!  As for me, sometimes I like me, sometimes I don't.  But I do feel stronger and more capable of handling our life as it is and that hasn't always been the case in my life!  Hopefully, after a lot of practice and in the eternal grand scheme, we will find that what we have been through has polished us just enough to handle what comes next!  

***Special Valentines kudos to all those who dropped by goodies or sent cards to Jim and me.  We are ever aware of how LOVED we are!

P.S.  By the way, what was with the ending of episode 3 of Downton Abbey Sunday night?  Absolutely poor form as a way to end an episode!

2 comments:

Shari said...

Oh my, Joanne, this is so precious to read. I love what you said about wishing you didn't have to be the ones being the example, because I wish you weren't either, but you are, and you and Jim really are a wonderful example of true love. It is in every word you write, and every picture you show. I also love what Mary Ellen told you. Of course, why didn't I think of that myself? I didn't and the inspiration is so helpful. "The test is for us to GET TO KNOW OURSELVES!". Thank you and all our love to you both.

Unknown said...

JoAnne,
You blog is so inspirational! How we love you and Jim. What a wonderful family you have. We really love seeing the Kids.
A missionary couple serving here in Lima has just found out that the husband has stage 4 cancer and they are leaving early to go home. He sent us an Email that read, The surprises of Life! So true!
Thank you for the beautiful family picture. I have it on my picture wall. Remember at home when you worried how your walls looked. Not now, I just cover mine with the most beautiful things I have. My family, friends, and missionaries. Give Jim our love,
Pat