JANUARY JOTTINGS

I've recently been reminded to return to 'blogging' and do some catch up.  I've lost my camera (again - Jim is not surprised) and have just not taken alot of pictures (too many pros in the family doing that for me).  But I will attempt to do a synopsis of the past 3 months.

November and December were beautiful months in the Salt Lake valley and I've enjoyed my daily puppy walks with Rosie.  While the air was good, we enjoyed 'smelling the roses' (and everything else along the way).  I like to walk alone as it's my time to ponder and reflect and sometimes memorize songs and lines for our programs (we performed our Christmas show 6 times in December.  My group Songkeepers has been together since 1990 and performing the Christmas program since 2008 and each year I love it more.  Singing, especially at Christmas, always brings such joy and has been a wonderful and healing outlet for me.  Thank goodness the 'troupe' still wants to perform.  We even sung our new song 'The Gift of Love' in church a couple of times, which extends the season and adds to the feel good effect music has on me.

Thanksgiving at the Rich house was pure 'bedlam' this year.  We were 24 in full number, most of them being under the age of 9.  There was wonderful food, thankful thoughts and plenty of pandemonium, but, as expected, lots of love.  It's great having Bob, Sara, Duncan and Charlie in Boise now so that they can make the 5 hour trip to be with everyone a little more often.  I love the 'company' at home; the morning breakfast conversation with the 'boys', the game room play with cars, trucks and trains, the bedtime tuck-ins with family stories and the after hours fireside chats with Bob and Sara.  

I'm so proud of all of our children.  Bob has wanted to do Prosthetic s and Orthotic's ever since he entered Jr. high and has taken 4 years on top of his B.S. to complete that dream.  Coby is enjoying work for Property Solutions as their director of marketing and has somehow combined his ability to 'act' with his work, producing some pretty amazing (and hysterical, so thinks Mom) video productions for company summits.  Ben has worked hard at making the business of selling medicare supplements something he is finally enjoying and reaping the rewards from.  Besides that he has done some amazing remodeling of their home, something he and Whitney love to do together.  With most of our friends approaching '65' (yikes), he'll should have some good business prospects coming up.  Pat has found a niche doing his videography for IHC and can pretty much make any effort remarkable.  This is something he did growing up and so has been 'perfecting the product' for years.  I'm sure he is well respected.  Marianne's husband Lance is climbing the ladder at Progressive Insurance and is steady and patient in his progression.  He will no doubt find much success as he proceeds.  He is also my 'favorite' son-in-law' (if not the 'only' one)!  
 With the news of Marianne and Tiffany's pregnancy's, our 'grand' posterity will climb to 16 by summer and I think, before the years end, will be added upon.  In a way, it's a great comfort to know that these amazing spirits that are coming to our family have been able to know Jim in the spirit world and will bring his abundant love into our family.  

Christmas came and went faster than ever remembered, even though I had the house decorated and played Christmas music all thru December to prolong the season.  This year, having been a harder year without Jim than the last, seemed to intensity the 'after holiday' blues.  It still feels  un-real that Jim is not with us, physically.  I feel his spirit often and know he is aware of all that is going on in our lives, even helping 'direct' them; mine particularly.  But the emptiness seems so much more 'empty' as the months go by.  I ache for him to smother me against his chest and wrap me in his arms while I cry.  To have him hold my hand in church, like so many of our friends who I now try not to envy.   To have him walk into a room and talk about work, our children and grandchildren, the 'people' in his life whose interests he always had at heart.  To make plans and have him be the one 'in charge', to drive the car and open the door for me, to tell me what to do about the tires on the car, the edition to the cabin at Bear Lake, house repairs, bills, to ask if I should stay in our home, should I work at the temple, how to 'fix everything', take this trip or not and on and on.  But most especially to lay beside me in bed and tell me that he couldn't imagine life without me.   He did this often, expressing his love and devotion, while I never ever imagined I would have to live without him.  Life is never what you expect, I expect!

So, it's 2015 and I am 'expecting' the unexpected.  I'm going to look for happiness and to live joyfully (or as Marg does so well) just LIVE, LIVE, LIVE! My prayers are more specific and I'm learning how to turn my life over to the Lord and be 'guided' instead of trying to 'steer'!  It seems He has blessed me (us) abundantly, and although their are teapots of tears there are also boat-loads of blessings.   I want to me more 'grateful' more thoughtful of others; to forget me and to lift them.  I want to enjoy more sharing time with the 'grands' and to be a positive presence in their lives.  I want to learn more, to experience new people and places.  Mostly, I am hoping to find peace in just being ME!  I don't like being 'alone', never have, but until I have another choice, if ever, I need to find peace and happiness within myself.  Deep and Profound, yes?

So, along with a few pictures above, that's it for now.  I look forward to our family (Christmas in January) trip on the Disney cruise ship next week.  So sad Bob and family can't join us, but we will not stop playing together.  This is something Jim and I planned to do with our senior lives and so I'll continue to make it happen!  Mostly, I just want to....look forward!